I am a mother.

I am a mother. I am connected to my daughter – near or far.

Yesterday was the first birthday of my daughter Miranda’s that I did not spend with her. She did however, call me using video messaging, so I was able to see her beautiful face, smile and personality all the many miles away. It was great spending that part of her birthday with her. I know I am connected to her no matter how many miles separate us, but I was grateful to have that avenue to connect with her visually as well. I am so thankful to have such a wonderful relationship with such a beautiful soul. I have learned so much from her and continue to do so all the time. I am so proud to be her mother and so blessed that she was given to me. I couldn’t wait to speak to her on her birthday and can’t ever imagine not feeling that way.

I mentioned to friends last night that I didn’t even get a text from my mother on my birthday, a few days ago, nor have I heard from her since then. When does a mother stop wanting to be in touch with her daughter? I’m sure there’s a million and one different reasons why a mother pulls away from her child or children, but I just can’t ever imagine feeling that way about my daughter. I’m so grateful that my Grandma never pulled away from me. I know she was wishing me a happy birthday from heaven! I would’ve gotten a birthday card from her on my birthday if not before, if she was still on this earth!

I always feel the love of my daughter and my grandmother. I wonder what happened to the love from my mother. It may be there, but I don’t recognize it. I remember it when growing up, but since moving out on my own, it changed and then became nonexistent in physical form when I became a mother. Ah, that may be it, when I became a mother, did she decide that I no longer needed a mother?

Last week, my independent daughter was trying to solve a problem on her own when she called to ask for some assistance. I told her that not only did she make great decisions trying to solve the problem on her own, but it was just as great a decision to call when she needed help. She didn’t have to do everything on her own to be independent. Even when she is 35 and I’m 65, she can still call and ask for advice or help because I’ll always have 30 years of life experience to offer. To be independent is also to be connected.

I am a mother connected to her daughter.