I am changing channels.
My television viewing has changed drastically over the past two years. I watch much less overall and I watch different shows altogether. Years ago my husband asked my why I watched true crime shows. I thought at the time, “I don’t know. I always have. My mom did and I do.” Then he told me that I was more negative after watching those negative shows. I didn’t really believe him at the time, but kept his words in the back of my mind.
Me, being the type of person who likes to ‘look things up’ decided to look up his idea about me watching negative TV and coming away from it with a more negative mindset. Well, my brilliant husband was absolutely right! Watching these crime shows had a direct effect on my body and mind – even though my conscious mind knew I was watching an event and not experiencing it, my subconscious mind did not. My body reacted in a variety of ways and one specific way, I learned, was quite eye-opening to me. Cortisol levels can increase and when cortisol is released it can trigger past bad memories because it’s part of how prior memories become embedded in our brains. So subconsciously thinking of past bad events could spoil a good mood for sure! I stopped watching my ‘regular shows’ a couple of years ago.
Happily watching less TV and watching positive shows like my favorite – Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul Sunday, I’ve held on to one type of show – until about a week ago. I held on to watching reality TV shows – always telling myself that I really shouldn’t watch these shows about housewives, but it was the last piece that I couldn’t let go of. My brilliant husband, once again, wondered why I watched them and just said, “I don’t know, but there a millions of viewers out there, so there has to be something to them.”
Once again, I had an ‘I don’t know’ for a response, but still kept watching….until a brave friend of mine answered a difficult question I posed to my closest family and friends: List 3 things you really like about me and 3 things you really don’t. I am eternally grateful for those who had the courage to respond to my inquiry, and my friend Martha’s response of not liking that I watch reality TV, made me finally really think about why I watch those shows.
Why? I still can’t answer that clearly, although I could list many aspects that could be true and most likely are to some degree, but what spoke to me the most – was my dear friend, who has known me since we were 15 and whom I highly respect. If she could list 3 things and this was 1 of them, I needed to take a deeper look. That was why I asked her in the first place. I quickly decided that this use of my time is not doing anything positive for me and since it doesn’t serve me, I no longer need it.
I no longer watch these television shows and I haven’t missed them at all. Thank you, Martha, for speaking your truth and helping me continue to grow in my quest to better myself and hopefully better the world in some small way. You have bettered me and I am grateful for it.
I am changing channels.