Vitus, a yoga instructor on ibod, formerly known as Beach Body, mentioned some words of wisdom during his recorded class. I can’t say I know exactly what he said , but the gist of it was this: When we come into balance, we have to work through the unbalance, which feels uncomfortable. As I stood on one foot, feeling the unbalance and the balance within my physical self, I thought about how this idea is also true in my emotional self.
I often hear this thought of ‘unbalance’ as the shadow self. We work through the shadow parts of us to come into balance. Doing that work is indeed uncomfortable. I feel like there is another big shift coming my way and I’ve had this inner knowledge for some time now. I don’t have any idea what it may be, or what it will feel like on the other side of it, but I do get the intuitive nudge that getting there is going to be more than uncomfortable. I think there’s something I really need to accept about myself that I haven’t quite done yet and it’s something I don’t either like, or want to admit. Even thinking about what it might be makes my stomach tumble over and over like a dryer spinning a clump of wet laundry.
Do I want to clean this dirty laundry of mine? Indeed I do, but the thought of whatever I will have to do to see the light makes me a my belly do flip-flops. I generally don’t get the jitters about life happenings overall. Well, perhaps the time I was in an airplane circling higher and higher, waiting to get to the exact altitude for climbing out on the wing to jump back down to earth would qualify….ha! That was a bit more than nerves, and in the end and even as I climbed out onto the wing, harnessed to a professional parachuter, the nerves were quickly replaced with exhilaration, then joy, then awe. It was worth it all!
So I know that whatever this is coming down the road of life, it will be worth it all. But as I imagine it now, it feels like it’s going to be, at the very least, uncomfortable. I see a lot of tears and shame and forgiveness for myself. It may all happen gradually, like a balloon being blown up one deep breath at a time, or it may occur all at once, as a loud POP! I shall see, and in the end it will be what it will be and I know that it will be for my growth, my greatest good, as well as benefit all others that I may affect.
I am ready for the unbalance, although a nail-biting feeling bubbles up from my core when I think about it. I am as prepared as I can be and know that my loving family and friends will support me if I need them. I will also support me, nurture the child within, console the teen inside, and counsel the adult I am now. I love knowing that the child, teen and adult will all come out with freshly cleaned clothing, smelling like lilacs or fresh air, or something sweet and earthy. We’ll all be wearing our brightly laundered clothing, ready to take the next steps along the path of balancing the emotional and the physical self that I am.
Thank you Vitus, for an outstanding yoga class and an even deeper, thought-provoking, comment! I wonder what tomorrow’s yoga class will bring….