#fear – Be in Balance

Inspiration, Doubt, then Courage

A very good friend of mine began a facebook group about one of her passions recently. I loved the idea and so did many people! People are posting and utilizing the platform to share their beautiful garden photos and get questions answered.

I decided that I would do the same and began a facebook group entitled Maturing Mindfully. I was so excited about it and still am.

But here’s the funny thing – my little Jodi (aka inner child) had all these thoughts: Will my friend Courtney think I’m copying her? Am I not being original because of that? Will mine be as popular? Big Jodi started to smile at her little self.

I looked her in her big blue eyes and said, “Follow your heart and do what makes you happy. Remember, imitation is the biggest form of flattery. Ideas are to be shared, and shaped to fit the likes of the creator. You, Jodi, are that creator!” I took her hand in mine and started the group together, happy in mind and in heart! No fears, no worries, just following the yellow brick road to our own version of Oz!

Fear

Dive into the joyful waters,

See the sun shine above its surface,

Let the rays permeate through the water,

Let its warmth, fire and action envelope you as you dive deeper,

Deeper, into the water’s darkness,

Meet the fear, the worry, the guilt face to face,

As the warm comfort of the sun’s cloak holds you,

Reminds you that it is with you,

You can feel it, it’s always there,

Just above the surface,

Thank the fear, the worry, the guilt for trying to protect you,

Let them know when you need them again,

You will dive down into the darkness to retrieve them,

Joyfully kick your way toward the light again,

Feel the light holding you while emanating from inside,

Your heart sings its song,

Your unique song of desire, action, adventure, courage and love,

The light reminds you of who you really are,

As you kick toward the water’s surface,

Kick, kick, kick,

You are just an arm’s length away from breaking through,

To feel your true self again,

It was always there,

Your heart’s aria calls to the rest of the world,

As you break through the cleansing water,

and remember.

Moving past Fear

I am. I am moving. I am moving past fear.

Fear – fear of failure, fear of criticism, fear of ridicule, all of the fears I have had throughout my life. I am finally read to move past these fears. Although my heart beats like the Little Drummer Boy on a train pulling into a station as the snow falls at times, my will and determination steadies those drumsticks and I persevere onward.

Fear – one of the two fundamental emotions all of us experience. The other you ask? Love. There is only Fear and Love. That’s it! All other emotions are built on the foundation of these two emotions. I see my feelings of not being good enough, not deserving, not achieving the goals I’ve made for myself, and not moving past my past failures (all fear-based) have stopped me in my tracks.

When my brain flies down the rails at locomotion speed, I have screeched to a halt throughout my travels for various reasons. Some of these are external – a long pause by a peer after sharing an idea, advice given to me to keep the status quo, or warnings of low wages for doing something different to name a few. The true reason I have pulled the emergency brake in mid-effort stem from the underlying sentiment of not being worthy.

Unworthiness is based on the feeling of fear. Am I worthy of doing something I enjoy that doesn’t feel like “work”? Am I worthy of helping others if I cannot help myself? Am I worthy of trying something I’ve longed to do my entire life? The answer is YES! I am worthy of all of these things because I no longer come from the place of fear, but of love, love for myself and love for others. I do not have to be “perfect” in human form to help others. I also trust – an emotion based on love. I trust that all will be as it should and if another person is helped in any way through this writing, then even better. What I do know, is it is helping me.

I am moving past fear and replacing it with love – love for myself, love for writing, and the love to inspire or serve others. The JodiReedDame Express is heading down the railway, full speed ahead! Toot! Toot!

Shift-tilt Lens Photography of Train Track