Watching the sunrise is such an awe-inspiring experience. I hope you enjoy this and are inspired to walk into the world today with your heart leading the way!
After a life-shifting trip, I am missing the beautiful sunrises and sunsets on the Nile, so got up before dawn and moseyed myself down to the beach to catch this beautiful site. I am allowing the sun, Ra, to warm my heart and soul. I wish the same for all of you!
I am Orange
A Unique Concoction of Red and Yellow
Crimson, Flaming
Golden, Lemony
Fierce and Bright
Blended and Connected
Grounded in Action
My Core, my Nucleus
Fiercely Loyal
In Dynamic Fluctuation
Aspiring Creativity
Purposeful Passion
Juicy, Sweet
A freshly picked Cantaloupe
I am Orange
So many lost souls surround me… next door, down the street, in front of the line at the grocery store… They are everywhere – wisps of wind whispering in my ear. They share their secrets, but I don’t hear them.
I am frightened of the undeniable pain in which these lost souls live. My heart retreats, as fear takes its place. I look down at my chest, checking to ensure it hasn’t caved in. I don’t acknowledge them.
These souls are desperately trying to connect with other souls. They search for just one other, dreaming that their anguish of alienation will melt away. They desperately reach, stretching their arms to try to touch me. I don’t feel them.
They have all the markings of happy souls living in human bodies, but their eyes betray their jolly countenances. The lost souls pray they will rescued from their inner torment. I look away. I don’t see them.
I lie in bed, as they float around in my head – whispering, feeling, seeing the never-ending lost souls. I turn away from them, running, escaping, hiding. There is one chasing me! I turn to look back and see my reflection in the mirror.
Time – when I have a huge chunk of it, like the biggest slice I’m willing to take from a birthday cake without causing others to gasp, I feel free. I am inspired to spend my time doing what I love, moving in a way that feels good and just plain doing something for myself. I feel great, expansive, like I can do anything, be anything, change anything, learn and grow. I am Jack climbing up the magical beanstalk, loving every minute of the journey. I am BatGirl flying across the city, spotting children to save from harm. I am a fairy, flitting through the forest’s flowers, mushrooms and secret hiding places. I am me, thinking, smiling, loving.
All of a sudden I realize my slice has been devoured, although enjoyed tremendously, but gone all the same. The only slice I have left of my own, is the thin slice that the skinny girl at the party takes after saying, “Oh I better not…well okay, just the tiniest slice.” This slice I will not consume greedily, but savor it like melting chocolate on my tongue. This lone slice may be miniscule compared to the large one I delighted in, but I will make this just as satisfying. With this piece of the never-ending clockface tick, tick, ticking away, I will soar like an eagle seeing the beauty of my life below. I will wave my magic wand like the Good Witch from the North, helping to heal the universe. I will feel the beat of my heart replace the tick, tick, ticking of time. I will feel, I will experience and I will love every second of it.
I am honored to be a woman. I am blessed to have been able to have a child. If you are a woman who has been given these unbelievable gifts, I can imagine you empathize greatly.
In a blink of an eye we were given the news that we were pregnant. In another blink, our children were born. A few more blinks…our babies became toddlers… preschoolers… kindergarteners. We blink back tears of joy as we watch them grow before our very eyes – those ever-blinking eyes. They are like flashing yellow lights on a nonstop highway starting at Birth, USA to Anywhere. As we travel as onlooking passengers, we force our eyelids to stay open, trying to stop the forward motion, the motion of time. Our eyelids are like blinds rolled up all the way, as tears pour like rain hitting windowpanes. Straining not to blink, we hope to savor each day, each joyous moment, but the force of our biological makeup, that which we were blessed to give birth with, pulls the shades closed. A blink of an eye passes by once again and we find ourselves further down the highway.
Our eyes seem to blink faster and faster. Blink… childhood. Blink… adolescence. Blink… young adulthood. This is where my eyes focus now, trying to catch each moment, making it last, trying to elongate the timespan between each blink.
Looking back on these twenty-plus years, pictures run through my mind, like an old picture movie reel, flickering with each blink. I fast forward to today, grateful that the motion picture is still running. The movie has not come to an end. I am trying to relish each glimpse, each grin, every detail, as my child reaches her own age of womanhood.
Today, I am especially thankful to be blessed that things continue to change in the blink of an eye. For those mothers whose eyes can only view the movie reel by dropping their blinds and watching their child through their mind’s motion picture theater, I hold you in my heart. I send you love and peace.
I am. I am moving. I am moving past fear.
Fear – fear of failure, fear of criticism, fear of ridicule, all of the fears I have had throughout my life. I am finally read to move past these fears. Although my heart beats like the Little Drummer Boy on a train pulling into a station as the snow falls at times, my will and determination steadies those drumsticks and I persevere onward.
Fear – one of the two fundamental emotions all of us experience. The other you ask? Love. There is only Fear and Love. That’s it! All other emotions are built on the foundation of these two emotions. I see my feelings of not being good enough, not deserving, not achieving the goals I’ve made for myself, and not moving past my past failures (all fear-based) have stopped me in my tracks.
When my brain flies down the rails at locomotion speed, I have screeched to a halt throughout my travels for various reasons. Some of these are external – a long pause by a peer after sharing an idea, advice given to me to keep the status quo, or warnings of low wages for doing something different to name a few. The true reason I have pulled the emergency brake in mid-effort stem from the underlying sentiment of not being worthy.
Unworthiness is based on the feeling of fear. Am I worthy of doing something I enjoy that doesn’t feel like “work”? Am I worthy of helping others if I cannot help myself? Am I worthy of trying something I’ve longed to do my entire life? The answer is YES! I am worthy of all of these things because I no longer come from the place of fear, but of love, love for myself and love for others. I do not have to be “perfect” in human form to help others. I also trust – an emotion based on love. I trust that all will be as it should and if another person is helped in any way through this writing, then even better. What I do know, is it is helping me.
I am moving past fear and replacing it with love – love for myself, love for writing, and the love to inspire or serve others. The JodiReedDame Express is heading down the railway, full speed ahead! Toot! Toot!
I am wondering where Freedom lies and how to entice it to become my daily companion. Is Freedom your soulmate? How did you meet? Did you pursue it or did it court you? Who fell in love first?
What is the music that allows you to dance together, each beautiful step an ongoing performance of joy, as you live each day, you and Freedom? I long for this partner, I eagerly search for its music, tilting my head in this direction and that as I walk through each day. Where is my Freedom? My soulmate? What music can I play, sing, write to entrance my life partner out of hiding? I long for my Freedom, my partner, the one who I wake up to each morning with heartfelt love and put to rest each night as my body replenishes itself for a another invigorating day together.
I love Freedom! I can yell it from the mountain tops, yodelling with the best of the those who have Freedom by their side. I fantasize about Freedom …I dream about Freedom….Freedom is so exhilerating, so dreamlike, so all encompassing! What is is about Freedom that the just hearing the word inside my head as I type makes my mouth salivate as my lips curl into a slight smile? Freedom feels sooooo good, just thinking about it.
Freedom, where for art thou? Are you near? I can feel you; sometimes you feel like my partner, my lover, my one and only. Then you are gone, like a mysterious twinkle that blends into the darkened sky. Or are you really so close that I can smell, taste and hear you, but Knowledge quickly consumes you as my days fill up my mind?
Knowledge, what a troublesome fellow he is. He is constantly by my side, holding on so tightly that at times I can hardly breathe. There’s a reason why Knowledge and Nuisance begin with the same sound – they are kissing cousins. I need you to step aside, Knowledge, allow some room for Freedom to spend time with me, to show me the world, to allow me to feel the world.
I know. I know. I know. But I want to feel. I want to feel Freedom.
