A while back I had been thinking about a previous administrative position I took for a year. As I reflected on that emotional roller coaster of a year, I recalled appreciating the custodial staff so much because they gave me a 5 minute warning to let me know the doors would be locked at 11 PM each night! Thinking back on it, it had its ups and downs – a crystal teacher award and getting great feedback from coworkers, supervisors and families on one end to my husband missing me, missing us and me losing my s*** about once every six weeks on the other.
I had been encouraged to take a job like this my entire adult life. I always responded to these people with, “Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should do it.” I obviously stopped listening to my own inner wisdom and listened to all the voices around me, applied for and accepted the position. I learned a lot about the education profession, laws of special education, appreciation for my professional peers, and what I am called to do and not to do! Although I may have had the ability to be in this role, it did not feel like a calling and did not come from my heart. By March of that school year, I told the administration that I was not going to continue in that role in the fall.
Now that you have the background – here is the GOOD PART! My reflection focused on my decision taking the job coming from my ego. I thought perhaps I’d find more fulfilment in this position, able to support others in a more meaningful way so that I would be happier. I know now that I was not following what my inner guidance was leading me to do in serving others. As I thought about the job, I specifically thought of a teacher that I was supporting. For two weeks I thought about her and some of the interactions we shared. I wanted to call her to tell her that things would have gone differently, more positively if I was coming from a different place overall and not holding all the self-induced stressors of wanting instead of allowing.
Just as I was planning to call her to share my thoughts, I received a fb message from her! I had not spoken to nor corresponded with her directly in almost two years. Here is some of what she wrote:
Hi Jodi! ….wanted to share a little story I thought you might appreciate….my <superviser> called me to discuss one of my students and she mentioned how she continues to be impressed by my IEPs <federal paperwork>. She said she never has to worry about double checking my work before a meeting because I always come prepared with well-written and clear IEPs. She even used one of my documents as a model for the other teachers. I wanted to thank you for making me the IEP writer (and strong, confident teacher) that I am! …Thank you for being such a big supporter and an amazing educator!!
My desire to share this is two-fold. First, although we see things one way, often others see things quite differently. Sure, that’s nothing new, but it was a reminder to me, especially if I was feeling negatively about it. My choice at the time was to communicate with her and I would’ve gathered the information that way.
Secondly, I find it interesting that when I was thinking of her and our time together, she reached out to me to discuss the same thing! Coincidence? I don’t think so, I think the situation describes synchronicity and is something we can all keep our minds open to, eyes watchful for and ears ready to hear! Not only did this strong, capable, talented young teacher make my day by taking action in order to do so, it made me think –
What energy or thoughts are we putting out into the world and how do they come back to us??